Omg do you think am making right choice?

i am taking igcse this year and it's only 3 igcse... i really have no confident in taking igcse so i didn't take that much. and then my mom said i couldn't get into college abroad, i need more igcse's. and she also allows me to not go college after that cuz college i couldn't just barge in like primary or secondary schools. it's harder than i thought. but without college, i couldn't really get my dream job ya know. wait, i dunno about this one but i cld go for course. am not so sure. so the decision is that i have to repeat gr 10 again to take more igcse or just graduate and start chasing my dream with no degree or diploma college thingy. i choose to repeat. ugh. i've repeated gr 8 too b4. high school journey is a long distance. i choose to repeat because i want my opportunity to have to go to college abroad! this is so overwhelming...